Sunday, June 5, 2011

Akhilandeshvari’s Crocodile

Photo: Akhilandeshvari - Hindu goddess "Never Not Broken"

Sometimes it seems like
your entire world is
in a tail spin.

Everything moves so fast that
focus and certainty
become nothing more than the
theoretical constructs

you obligingly recount
in stories wailed to your old self
with a sense of foolish piety.

Welcome aboard.

You’re riding the scaly back
of Akhilandeshvari’s crocodile.

Around and around you go.


Let’s See:

How many pieces have you broken into?

Count them.

There’s a pretty good chance
that the head has been severed
at the neck

and the heart has been
sliced open.

“Cosmic surgery!”
gleefully shout the mystics
in all the Truth traditions.

when invoked with courageous intent,
can nourish the body and soul,”
they say.

Have you not noticed
the feverish whirl
of their dance,
and tongues?

Torn apart from the masks,
self betrayals,
and toxic aphrodisiacs
in all forms and strides,

Your inventory will reveal that
all that no longer serves
has been purged from your
own reptilian being.

It is impossible for you
to reconstruct
what was.


Congratulations –
you’ve had a complete break down.

The dark ferryman will help you
disembark from the crocodile
at the next bridge crossing.

When he does,
look for the sign.

It will read something like this:

“Only you know the way.”

Oh, and re-member to thank
the crocodile.

If you look closely,
you’ll catch a glimpse
of your indestructible beauty
reflected in his tears.

© 2011-2015/Jamie K. Reaser
Published in "Wild Life: New and Selected Poems" 

Feel free to share


  1. Thank you, you have no idea what this means to me...and I started to explain it here but it turned into a whole article. To try to sum it up, this figure came to me and I trying to figure her out. this is me right now. My life. And you express it with beauty!

  2. This is such a beautifully written and immensely meaningful piece. I have just begun looking for more information on Akhilandeshvari, but she seems to be skillfully eluding the Google spies =) Could anyone direct me to further readings or information on this divine wonder?
    Thanks! =)

  3. This is the wonderful article that inspired the poem...

    Deep blessings,


  4. Beautiful Jamie! I just read the article in The elephant Journal, it made me 'google' Akhilandeshvari and I found your blog! You have a gift with words. All of this relates to me in my life right now and I am blessed with finding you and JC to show that I am right where I need to be. Be blessed.

  5. I also googled this goddesses name because I read that elephant journal article. Your poem cut into the heart of the matter for me in a useful way. That's my head talking. My heart is too chaotic to make sense right now. But I wish blessings for you. You helped.

  6. Many people are going through challenging processes at this time. Please feel free to contact me about Transformational Counciling sessions if you desire support. I can work over the phone.

    Deep blessings,


  7. it's interesting that we can all relate to something so seemingly ridiculous on such a profound/meaningful level.... this makes a lot of sense to me right now, thanks for your work!

  8. I loved this because it lifted me from being the broken pieces to being the raw potential....that is being "never not broken".
    "Potential" is "never not broken". Never fixed, fixated, never in one state of being.
    Life is constantly changing, constantly creating. That which cannot be broken or change is dead.
    Is it life that is changing or the things that life chooses and identifies itself with, doing the changing (breaking)?
    The potential, called life, cannot change. It does not exist. It is the foundation of time, the zero point, always at the start. This allows starting but cannot itself be starting, otherwise no starting POINT would be there.
    The potential, called life, cannot be anywhere, fixated at any one point or view. It must be everywhere and nowhere. When without or outside time, it can. It is the foundation of space, the zero point, always at nowhere. This allows the potential of space, viewpoints and distances between them and things.

    Life is without time or space, is "nothing" but potential, the undivided one (there's nothing to divide), is the foundation for and allows the existence of "never not broken".

    This helped me align many broken pieces, ha!

  9. A wonderful meeting that crocodile, though the experience is not one to want to repeat. Beautifully said Jamie!

  10. Thank you :) Akhilandishvari and her crocodile have absolutely changed my perspective on life. I'm glad to know there are others :)

  11. Blessings to you J. Looking forward to exploring your blog.